Day in the life of Hugo Chávez

Wake up. Put on red shirt. Announce foiled coup and/or assassination plot. Think up new name for George Bush (the latest is “Mr. Devil”). Announce again that you’d like to be president forever. Take a quick flight to do an oil deal and hopefully get another vote for the Security Council seat (the latest is Angola). Give Fidel a call to see how he’s doing. Go to bed. Repeat.